Author: Louise Cypress
Narrators: Reba Buhr, Alexander Cendese
Length: 8 hours 2 minutes
Series: The Puritan Coven Series, Book 1
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Release date: Jan. 10, 2019
Genre: Paranormal Romance; Young Adult
A nerdy high school senior transforms into a vampire vixen who’s unaware that her hunky date for prom is the slayer sent to destroy her.
Morgan Taylor-Jackson can’t wait for high school to end. In six months she leaves for UCLA and says goodbye to La Jolla, California, and her parents’ messy divorce. But when Morgan is bitten by a four-year-old boy, she becomes infected with a mysterious condition. Fever, insomnia, and a new bustline are only the beginning; Morgan morphs from nerd to bombshell.
As far as Van Xander is concerned, all vampires are evil, even the ones who reject human sacrifice and call themselves Puritans. When Helsing Incorporated sends Van to La Jolla to investigate the local coven, Morgan is his prime target. Pretending to be interested in her, Van asks Morgan out and puts her through a series of tests to determine her killer nature.
Morgan is thrilled to be dating a hot guy like Van and falls for him hard. As Van strings Morgan along, he grows increasingly guilty. Morgan is kind, compassionate, and a gooey romantic. Just as Van’s mind begins to change, evil forces threaten everything. When prom night arrives, there are only two ways out of the ballroom: death or immortality.
Louise Cypress believes in friendship, true love, and the everlasting power of books. She has never met a vampire or a mermaid, but she has been to a Love Sucks concert on Valentine’s Day. She can often be found curled up with a romance novel on Saturday night, diet soda in hand, secretly wishing bustles were back in fashion. Louise is from San Diego, California, where the beach is crowded and summer is immortal.
Reba Buhr grew up in the Pacific Northwest and now lives in Los Angeles, working in theater, film, and television. She has degrees from Occidental College in theater and classical voice. Reba began recording audiobooks in 2012 and has turned her love for performance into a passion for narrating characters that jump off the page. Reba is an accomplished voice actor and has lent her voice to many commercials, video games, and animated projects, including Popples and Knights of Sidonia for Netflix, Toonami’s Hunter x Hunter, and Zagtoon’s Zak Storm.
Alexander Cendese is a New York–based actor/narrator whose credits include roles on and Off-Broadway, in films, and on popular television shows, including Law & Order: SVU and All My Children. He holds a BFA from the Carnegie Mellon School of Drama.
There was nothing I liked to do more on a Friday night than slaying vampires, and this one was an especially enjoyable kill. His head broke off with a quick click, like Snap-Bricks breaking apart. I slid my silver dagger back into my boot and went to work disposing of the remains. Bloodless, the carcass was brittle and heavy. I threw a blanket over it while Mom unzipped the body bad. “You’re sure you severed the spinal cord?” Mom gave me a questioning look. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened when I ripped his head off.” “Save the backtalk. You’re my apprentice tonight, not my nineteen-year-old son. Unless you’d rather go back to Germany?” “Nope. My bad. Whatever you say, fearless leader.”
In this comical three-book series, Cypress explores the depth of friendship, intimacy…and the undead. What would you do if one day you woke up and nothing fit you the way it did yesterday? Your bra was two sizes too small. Your shirts were skin tight. Your face clear of blemishes…the kind that come from being a teenager. Would you chalk it up to a dream and try to wake up? Would you go with the flow and say that it was your diet? What about your hormones finally getting the hint to start moving things around? Never in a thousand years would you believe it to be because of supernatural causes right? Cypress has some of the classic lore intertwined with some original scenes in the mix, making the first installment in this series one that will be hard for readers to put down.
Morgan is your average high school geek. At least, that is how she sees herself—not worthy of a boyfriend for prom if it can’t be with her ex-boyfriend—who coincidentally is with someone else that is absolutely gorgeous. When she is invited over to Lukas’s house, her mother’s new boyfriend, she is forced to play nice with his daughter, Esma. Esma Siban seems like she has the perfect life—money, looks, and brains—why would she ever want to be friends with Morgan? But, after that fateful night, everything changes. The last thing that she remembers seeing is a young boy, apparently a distant relative of the Sibans, who rains in on her personal space when in the bathroom after dinner—and then darkness beckons. Waking up to her own room and hearing that she was in the hospital for a little while due to an illness and a concussion—Morgan must fit the pieces together to regain her memory. Mysteriously, these new changes start to take effect over her body and people at school start to notice her, but is that necessarily a good thing if she attracts the wrong company? The new exchange student, Van Xander, is handsome and way out of her league—yet, she can’t get him out of her head. With Esma’s warnings to stay away from him, that only makes Morgan want to be with him even more. What harm could it do? It’s not like he has a vendetta or a secret motive for wanting to be close to her right?
Cypress has a terrific story-line, filled with creativity, originality and fascinating characters. The pace is very quick, but easy to follow and enjoyable. The story appears to be written fairly well and both narrators, Cendese and Buhr, are able to captivate their audience with their vocal differentiation and tone. This installment does not spare the drama that goes on in a teenager’s life, but it is meant to be satirical and geared toward a young adult audience. With that being mentioned, there are some scenes that appear childish but the intention is that it is from a teenager’s point of view. If you are a reader of young adult and paranormal romance, this may be a good fit. This is the first installment in the Puritan Coven Series; therefore, the reader can dive right in.
An audiobook was purchased by Turning Another Page through iTunes and in no way affects the honesty of this review. We provide a five-star rating to Bite Me by Louise Cypress.
Q&A with Louse Cypress, author of BITE ME
- Question One: BITE ME is about a nerdy high school senior who transforms into a vampire vixen, unaware that her hunky date for prom is the slayer sent to destroy her. What inspired you to write about vampires?
- Louise: As a reader, sometimes I just want to read a book for fun. It’s the same thing as an author. In my day job, I write a lot of technical things that can be boring, so at night when I sat down to write fiction, I wanted to entertain myself. Like many readers, I can’t get enough vampire romance in my life, and BITE ME has humor mixed in, so hopefully it will make people laugh too.
- Question Two: You mentioned humor, is BITE ME intentionally funny?
- Louise: Yes, hopefully you find BITE ME to be laugh out loud funny. One of my favorite scenes is right at the beginning when Morgan is bitten. She’s in the bathroom, drying her hands on a towel, and a four-year-old vampire enters the room without knocking. Eighteen-year-old Morgan thinks to herself, “Don’t preschoolers understand about privacy?” This is a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously.
- Question Three: In BITE ME, Morgan has a special relationship with her Grandma Mimi, who’s a real fashionista. Was that character dynamic inspired by your own grandmother?
- Louise: Yes, in fact I dedicated the book to my Grandma Gerry, who always wore stockings, a silk dress, flashy jewelry, and a full face of makeup. She had her hair done once a week at the salon.
- Question Four: Are there more books planned in the Puritan Coven Series?
- Louise: Right now this is a three book series. Tantor Media is publishing the unabridged audiobook versions of BITE ME, HUNT ME, and SLAY ME.
- Question Five: What’s HUNT ME about?
- Louise: HUNT ME is a second chance romance about Morgan’s friend Esma, and her ex-boyfriend Chase. Here’s the hook: “An all-girls vampire camping trip turns deadly when a sasquatch hunter is accidentally killed.” Be ready to get sucked into the Puritan Coven!
Giveaway: $30 Amazon Gift Card
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